Deadly Green Woolly Worm

In late fall, I did something every self-respecting fantasy gamer should try—fishing. Specifically, I fly-fished with a vintage “green woolly worm” fishing fly. For those who aren’t sure what that means, it’s a hook that’s been fitted out with wire, fur, feathers, and an assortment of oddities to get a fish to bite. The fly looks yummy to the fish, so it snaps up the bait. Over the years, tying flies has become an art form.

Naturally, I started reflecting on fishing in games and how we might imagine that our stalwart heroes are feeding themselves along the trail. They’ll fish! They’ll forage for mushrooms, nuts, and berries! And sure, they’ll snare a bunny and make a stew. Full tummies for all!

Hahahaha.

Consulting with my angler friend, he assured me that one expends more calories catching the fish than the prepared delicacy replaces. In fact, he explained, the only way to have enough fish to fill your stomach is to net the creatures en masse. This does, in fact, mesh with my experience foraging chanterelle mushrooms on our property. We walked for about an hour collecting them, and I fried them up in butter. Absolutely delicious, but they hardly made a meal for two.

Back to fishing…I admit, I was steeling myself for the messy act of cleaning. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but by golly, I would do it or else. (I have also cleaned game, and it likewise isn’t much fun, but you get a lot of bang for your buck, literally). So, I was secretly relieved when we tossed the bluegill back after unhooking them. I saw one swim away and then get eaten by a larger fish about 72 seconds later.

Nature is a bitch, y’all.

(Special thanks to Jake Pendergraft for teaching me to tie flies and getting me another hobby)